Does it make sense to be a Gentleman nowadays?
If we look around with a critical eye, we will easily see that we are living in uncivil times. From our personal relationships to politics and business, it would appear as though the longstanding expectation of decorum has given way to our more impetuous, brutish, and petty inclinations.
We could even believe that it makes sense as we, as a society, have accepted and celebrated this behavior in our chosen forms of entertainment. But it was just a matter of time until that acceptance bled into our daily lives.
The problem is difficult to articulate, but it is a fact that people seem to be increasingly nervous. It is as if our society has passed through a point of no return and the underlying trust on which it was built has evaporated.
And yes, perhaps now more than ever, with the appearance of a new threat to our social well-being due to a possible contagion by COVID-19, these attitudes are even socially acceptable. But we cannot forget that good manners are always a great response when tempers are shorter, expectations are higher, and compassion is in increasingly short supply.
It’s even worse when talking about personal relationships, where start dating someone has turn into a kind of lottery to see if, after a few dates and having intimidated, one of the participants, mostly the man, does not escape due to the dreaded possible commitment when one try to see someone else for something more than just some fun nights.
And this is the crux of the matter because, you may not be able to control the response or behavior of those around you, but you can control how you choose to react. Fighting aggression with aggression is a futile exercise. Instead, you must learn to rise above the fray and blaze a new path for yourself.
And these are just some reasons why, yes, we definitely need modern gentlemen now a days, using the term “Gentleman” in a non-gender-specific sense of the term but rather as an individual, female or male, who holds himself to a higher standard and refuses to perpetuate the increasingly-accepted norms of poor taste in order to bringing some civility back into style.
These are just 5 principles of gentlemanly conduct that we could all endeavor to put into practice to make this happen.
#1 A Gentleman is civil in uncivil times.
When things get taught, nowadays people tend to react with vitriol, personal attacks, and other forms of aggression. However, a Gentleman would never respond in the same way. Instead, they stand on a superior set of principles and remain civilized, even when attacked.
This courtesy is not a sign of weakness; instead, it is a sign of strength.
#2 A Gentleman is honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Honesty is often uncomfortable. Whether we lie to avoid offending others or to save our own skin, the fact is that we do it to avoid the discomfort of the truth. A true Gentleman, however, is willing to endure this discomfort And, this level of honesty, while not always really appreciated, is a powerful sign of respect to others.
#3 A Gentleman is quietly confident, never arrogant.
In this hyper-connected society where we are governed by appearances rather than by more profound things, we feel the need to announce our greatness to everyone who listens to us which can results in a pervasive arrogance that instantly puts people on the defensive footing.
However, a modern Gentleman lets his results speak for themselves and engages everyone with a humility that instills confidence in others, rather than skepticism.
#4 A Gentleman demonstrates grace under fire
A modern Gentleman does not collapse in the face of adversity. He is honest and straightforward when it comes to dealing with day-to-day fears, stress, and anxieties. In doing so, he finds the strength to accept challenges wholeheartedly and turn to friends, colleagues, and experience for support.
By accepting the reality of the challenges a Gentleman faces, he remains calm, showing grace under fire, and serving as a pillar of strength for those around him.
#5 A Gentleman is the same person in public and private.
This is the most critical point on this list. Above all, a Gentleman behaves the same way in private as he does in public. There is no duplicity, double dealing or deception. A true Gentleman has the courage to have a set of values, regardless of the audience.
These are some of the Principles that a modern Gentleman has and I truly believe that if everyone, regardless of gender, could embrace some of these Principles, we could all go back to a more civilized and happy times.